Holidays

I was at Serangoon Garden's petshop with my cousin cus she wanted some dwalf hamsters to fill up her lonely life. She's sec 3 this year, a hamster freak, never had a guy in her life before, loves doing the stupid pose whereby you stick your second and third fingers out, loves her papa and mama to death and simply adore babies.

WAIT! Isn't that Amanda Im talking about about? *shrugs*

*photo deleted away by unoewho...

Amanda, do you like hamsters? You could be my long lost cousin or something.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the stupid second and third finger pose, its just that normally, I hide the second finger. :D

So, anyway, I was in the hamster section when something suddenly struck me. I took out a picture from my coat pocket, approached the nearest assistant I could find and ask him, "S'cuse me, do you have something that look like this:

That bastard told me to try the guinea pig section. :(

Holiday's been kinda boring for me. I met up with my ITE peeps yesterday for lunch and then bowling at Kovan, and I have to say I SUCK in bowling, totally. The first game I got 100 points zhun, second game got 78 and third game i got 98. I got 1 strike, and several spares, but all the other sick bastards hit above 150 points. I got pawned :(

Anyway, my cousin has recently given birth to a baby girl, ok maybe not so recent la.


Everybody, say Hi to Olivia. She's 8 months old, and ultra cute. I saw Iris and baby Sara on Amanda's blog, and everyone commenting on how cute they are, I bey loon. Have to fight to keep my rice bowl. >:(


Thats my hand! Her parents, my cousin, saw what I did to Olivia and gave me the "what-the-fuck-are you-doing" look.



I tried the same thing again after awhile, and this time, stupid Olivia cried, and I got clobbered by her parents. Nabei.

But nevertheless, I still love her. AMANDA, I DON'T WANT YOUR IRIS OR SARA LIAO! I GOT MY OWN~ :P

Oh, before I forget, Leon and I will be organising a class gathering this Friday on Teacher's Day. All mates from 1A02 are invited. Interested parties please meet at bugis MRT station this Friday at 5.45pm.

Well, thats about it, before I end off, here's some random pics of myself at Darren's house:

Anyone fallen for me yet? :D

End of Exams

BTC paper was horrible + terrible + vegetable!

One of the questions was "Parquet flooring is commonly used as a floor finish in most bedrooms. Explain the steps in the construction of a parquet floor, and the purpose for each step.

[10 marks]

I contemplated for awhile trying, battling myself not to write "what do you think?" Its what my lecturer always say to me when I ask him a stupid question. Asshole.

So, after stoning for a long time, I gave him my model answer.

"First you cut the timber, then you parquet the timber, then you use the timber."

How many marks do you readers reckon he'll give me? I'm hoping for a 8/10. :D

I'm not cherishing any hopes for MES either, the paper practically screwed my ass upside down, inside out. =(

God bless me. I've lots of photos to upload, but that will have to wait until Darren sends me all of them. Meanwhile,

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!! WOOO~

Letter to God

Dear God,

Its been a long time since I last wrote to You. I hope You're doing fine up there. Life's pretty good down here, just that its getting kind of hot down here recently, so I hope you can do something about the faulty orange You hung up on the sky several milleniums ago.

God, did You know that I wrote you a letter when I was taking my O level for the first time in year 2004? I didn't put enough stamps on the envelope that time and I received the letter back with a "Return To Sender" note. I guess thats why I failed so badly. :(

I don't know about you, God, but I've missed You, BADLY. There's so many things that I need Your help on.

I'm having my examinations this week, God. I really do hope you can help me. I know, I know. I'm not a person worth helping, but hey! Lets compromise shall we?

If I get an "A" for my Accounting, I will go on a diet and try to lose some weight. But hey, no promises ah!

If I get a "A" for my Building Technology, I will stop being irritating and stop disturbing people like Yee Seng and Amanda. I will be a good boy and make salty coffee for anyone who wants it.

If I get a "A" for my Mechanical System, I will stop watching porn from Kenneth's laptop cus I have my own even though I love blonde babes too..

Oh Lord, if you grant me 3 "A"s, I'll dye my hair gold, throw alway all my , I mean my brother's FHM megazines away and even be best friends with Eugene from my class and follow him to City Harvest every weekend. I'll even sing Your praises in loud tetno music if it makes You happy. I can even try rapping if You want me to.

On top of that God, I'll be vegetarian for a week.

See God, this is such a good bargain. Win-win situation right?

Alright, its pretty late, You should turn in for the night already. I'll end here. You take care now!

Lots of Love,
Jing Zhi

P.S: I hope I've put enough stamp on this time, and also God, I'm enclosing a cup of salty coffee for you. It's the latest drink on Earth, created by some idiot who requested for salt instead of sugar. I don't really remember the details, but You can view http://www.ihavebigballs.blogspot.com/ for more details.

Cheers!

A story

He met her on a party. She was the centre of attraction, and many guys were wooing her, while he's just a normal guy. Nobody paid him the slightest attention. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him. She was surprised, but being polite, she agreed. They sat in a nice coffee house, but he was too nervous to say anything. She felt uncomfortable, and thought, "Please let me leave.."

Suddenly, he asked the waiter "Could you give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everyone stared at him. His face turned red, but still, he added salt to his coffee and drank it.

Out of curiosity, she asked him, "why do you have such a strange habit?"

He replied: "When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, and I could feel the taste of the sea, and smell the salty breeze. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I'll always think of my childhood memories, I'll think of my hometown, and I miss my hometown so much. I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes.

She was deeply touched.

That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, must be a man who loves home, cares about home, and has responsibility of home.

Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood and her family. That was a really nice talk they had, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind-hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him if not for the salty coffee!

Then just like every beautiful love story , the princess was married to the prince, and lived a very happy life. And everytime she made coffee for him, she'd put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said:

"My Dearest,

Please forgive me, forgive my lie. This was the only lie I told you - the salty coffee.

Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt! It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.

Now that I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I'll tell you the truth. I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never felt sorry for anything I did for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you for my whole life..

..even if I have to drink the salty coffee again..".

Her tears made the letter totally wet.

A few years passed, and one day, someone asked her "how does salty coffee taste like?"

"Its sweet.." She replied.

A day as a rich man..

Woke up damn early today for the stupid IDS project, and also partly because some idiot called my handphone looking for Krishna. Narbei, do I sound like "Krishna" to you?

So anyway, during IDS, Leon attempted to access to my blog, but he left out the ".blogspot", and typed www.Ihavebigballs.com. Turned out to be a porno website, and we laughed our ass off.

So, anyway, we headed down to Darren's place after school, and Holy Shit, his place looks like a palace compared to my pathetic HDB crap. We had lunch there, where his maid made us a meal of Spaghetti and Swedish meatballs. Then, we toyed with his Osim chair thingie like some kind of Sua Ku, and shortly after that we went down for a swim and also did suana there.

We did some work, learn AutoCAD stuffs, and some accounting and so on. Then came dinner, this time was Yee Mian, i think. Tasty too.

We fooled around abit, took some candid shot and so on. So, here it goes:

Many years from now Kenneth, you're gonna laugh at this retarded picture of yourself, cus Im not removing it! =D

"Da Jia Hao, Wo Men Shi 5566! We men shi GAY!"

It was then, that I suddenly felt the impulse of doing somthing impossible. One that only a few can achieve. So, here it goes..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"DON'T LAUGH! IM A HAPPY BOY!"

Stoning at home..

I know I should probably be studying or something, but I just can't seem to do so. The bed looks so bloody comfortable. So, in a way I wasted a whole day, watching a DVD:

"The Incredible Bullshit"

In my opinion, I think "The Incredible Hulk" is incredibly COCK.. I fell asleep halfway! Or maybe thats because Yee Seng, that asshole, called me at 7a.m this morning ask me sing National Anthem. Then I went to call Amanda to wake her up to sing together. :D

We're deserve a medal or something for being this patriotic ok?

I found something on Natasha's blog which is rather interesting. So here it goes:

Name 11 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 11 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first. No cheating!!

PS: I intend to restrict this to mates of 1A02

1: Kenneth

2: Yee Seng

3: Leon

4: Michelle

5: Amanda

6: Geryll

7: Darren

8: Kailin

9: Sin Yee

10: Yan Yi

11: Dora

(The above ranking is not in order of how close they are to me in terms of friendship. All are equal. For all the other whose name are not here, you're in my "BONUS" list!)

Questions:

How did you meet 10 ?
Hmm, in school during orientation.

What would you do if you had never met 6 ?
I wouldn't have passed my BTC presentation. LOL

What would you do if 6 and 2 dated ?
I'll be waiting for the day one of them becomes pregnant.

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
Yup.

Do you think 1 is cute ?
Lets not hurt Kenneth's feelings here. Ask me in private. LOL

Tell me something about number 11 .
She very bubbly, and very fun to talk to.

How do you know 8 ?
In school, during orientation.

Would you ever go on a date with number 5 ?
Of course! So kawaii, who don't want? But she's with Martini~ LOL

What's 7's favorite color?
I don't know.. Pink?

What would you do if 6 confessed he/she likes you?
For safety purposes, I'll first glue my ass shut together.

Fact about 9:
She's very beautiful, but very quiet.

Who is 4 going out with?
Jeremy

Who is number 5 to you?
Someone who I ALWAYS disturb?

Would you ever live with 11 ?
Why not?

Is 2 single ?
Nope, attached to some gay hamster.

Where does 7 live?
Bukit Timah, at some condo.

What do you think about 3 ?
He CANNOT drink.

What's the best thing about number 8 ?
She looks damn edible. Like some sort of juicy steak or something.

What do you like about number 10 ?
Very strong, very fun to hang out with.

On Hiatus

Dear Readers,

I'll be on a hiatus with effect from tonight until my examinations are over. During this time, I'll be studying hard, and if, for some reason, I do not do well for the exams, it means that I've been "Appearing Offline" in my msn while watching pornographic movies on my laptop and wanking furiously under my bedsheet, and not studying.

God bless me.

Good luck to all!

Happy Birthday Fad~

I was browsing through some pictures I took yesterday, and it suddenly struck me!

My name is Y-E-E-S-E-N-G

Yee Seng looks cute! Kind of like a.. giant hamster or something. Damn, no wonder 2 girls fell for him, at the same time. It must be his animal magnetism. That lucky bastard!

"My name is H-A-M-M-I-E!"

Look damn alike right?

"We're brokeback HAMSTERS!"

Ahh.. I think I'm in LOVE :(

Lol. Just a joke Yee Seng, maybe you should go blog about me looking pretty much like a pig or something, I swear I won't get violent.

Alright, back to topic, its Fadilah's birthday today, and I gave her a call earlier on to wish her a very happy birthday. Then she suddenly popped the magical question..

"Where's my birthday present?"

And I replied..

"Between my legs!!"

I'M SUCH AN ASSHOLE!!

The One About The 3 Bey-Kans

Once upon a time on a National Day, 5 lonely guys decided to meet up cause they were too loserish to get dates for that day. 1 of them, the very handsome one, decided to go take Neo-print and watch "Lake House" after that, but it was scraped in the end cus the rest felt that it was too gay, and the Handsome one didn't understand why.

Whoever said that this pic looks gay obviously didn't know Colin and Kero

When they finally met up, the handsome one suggested to go to pub, but little did he know that there were 3 bey-kan people in the group who CANNOT drink.

Introducing our Second Runner-up:

"Im a cute boy!"

This Hero came out of "Alley Bar" looking a little flushed, but nevertheless still okay. Here's how he looks like after ONE cup of Stella Artois:

Next, our runner-up:

Holy Shit, can you see how red he is?

This Hero, came out a little more flushed then our second runner up, but he could still walk straight and talk normal, as in full of shit. LOL. Ok, so far so good.

Introducing our Champion of the day A.K.A "King Bey-Kan":

"Whats 2 square?"

Our champion here, walked out of alley bar as "King-Of-Cannot-Drink". To prove that he's not drunk, he kept asking "whats 2 square?", "whats 2 cube?" and "whats 2 to the power of 4?"

Damn funny I tell you.

Did I mention that there was a pair of couple who wore the same colour shirt among us?

Introducing..

www.LeonandKenneth.blogspot.com

Sigh~ how touching. :(

Some random pics:

Our beer, Stella Artois (I believe its pronouced as Stella Ar-Tua)

Don't ask, I lost in a "Open Number"..

Our champion rehearsing how fast he can pull out the plastic bag for him to vomit in..

So anyway, after our fiasco at Alley Bar, we headed to Taka for supper. We got bored halfway and decided to imitate one of our classmate. Can you guess who it is?

Kawaii Neh!

Open Invitation

I've been single for some time now (not as long as Amanda la, lose to her hands down), and it feels kind of wierd. Feels like there's nobody there to care for me any more man. So today, Im proud to announce that I'm single and AVAILABLE!

But before I actually start looking for one, I have some standards to set. I know la~ I this kind of pattern also want standard, very bu yao lian hor?

LOL, anyway, my better half should:

1) Laugh with me/Laugh at me/Laugh with me at people who do stupid things/Laugh with people at me for stupid things that I do.

Not laughing at home! (LOL.. Sorry Sin Yee, couldn't resist, don't kill me =D )

Her smile must be beautiful, something like this:

Although I would prefer her arms to be less muscular, looks like she can send me to Europe with a punch or something.

2) She must be sexy, something like this:

Doesn't this picture just turn you on, guys? You may have her.

Damn, maybe not that tanned. Gives a whole new meaning to "Fresh from the oven". And also, maybe someone should introduce waxing to her, she definately needs it, BADLY.

3) She must be able to put on make-up. Yes, its important. To hell with the phrase "Natural is beauty". Ask a girl not to shave her underarm, brush her teeth and bath, and see if you still think much of "Natural Beauty"

So, she will look something like..

Holycockanathan! Such rare beauty, where to find?!

See? My standard ain't that high actually right? Oh, before I forget, it'll be a plus point if she can act cute. You know, guys love girls who can act cute, something like..

Kawaii neh!

See? So cute, Martini, you are one lucky ass. LOL

Any takers? LOL

Night everyone!

Owned

AutoCAD was boring today, no wait, its boring EVERYTIME. Ah well, was exceptionally boring today. I didn't know there was "Project Nuts" today, and it scared the shit out of me when I saw Jason and he told me about it.

We skipped MES, went to do our BTC project thats gonna due on Monday. Speaking of which, the bloody BTC project made us waste alot of time cus we had to scrape our initial product as it was "not according to elements", as said by Mr Yang~

And I thought we could make ANYTHING..

At around 4, We decided not to go for the project Nuts thingie cus :

1) Leon had to leave for NDP at his secondary school
2) Kenneth and I got no mood (We woke up and found blood on our boxers. Damn, should have listen to Mummy and wore Kotex!)
3) I didn't bring my gear, I KNOW I KNOW! IM THE BURDEN =(

So anyway, after school, we (Kenneth, Yee Seng and I) went to play basketball together, where I was shocked out of my balls. Yee Seng actually scored 20 3-pointers consectutively, and Kenneth dunked the ball into the net till the ring was bent.

Ok, I lied.

LOL.. but they both play very well la, especially Kenneth. Then we played against this bunch of Cheena players who had one ang mo in their team. We lost, but hey, at least we've gained something in return - an injured player, Yee Seng. LOL

After the game, we went to take a shower, Yee Seng didn't bathe, that smelly bastard. LOL.. Joking joking~

Went for dinner with Kenneth, had Hokkien Mee with him, and we spoke alot la. Talked about girls, talked about our friends etc. While chatting halfway, his friend, who saw us, called him and ask "Eh, whos the fat guy beside you?"

Narbei!

Another day gone..

I don't even know why Im attending ITE lessons apart from being scared from debarment, cus honestly, up to now I still don't know his name. All these while I just call him "Cher". Pathetic right?

School was exceptionally boring today. Went for crappy ITE lesson in the morning, did a crappy assignment, went for crappy MES, well sort of. We(consisting of Kenneth and Yee Seng) ran off halfway to eat. Michelle recommended some egg with chicken stuff to me. Not bad la.. tasted like egg with chicken..HEY! It IS egg and chicken. LOL

After school, we headed for the library to chill. Talked alot of bullshit. But hey, its the first time I spoke so much to Sin Yee. Ha! Achievement right? Lets not disturb her, I bet she probably laughing at home now~ =D

Anyway, its kinda funny, I actually have friends who are afraid of DEAD FISH! Damn funny I tell you. LOL.. and if you think that's bad, wait till you hear about my friend who's afraid of.. FRUITS AND VEGETABLES!!

So cute right.. ? LOL

Okay la.. don't laugh at other people's fear. I have my own. =D

Bus journey on the way home was rather fun. Had a chat with Amanda, something that we rarely do nowadays. I think she's in love with Eugene. LOL.. Joking la Man~

Ok la.. stop here le.. Strange, I hear someone laughing from quite a distance away, well, for all I know, it might probably be Sin Yee..

Nights everyone!

Lost..

She nudged me in msn last night.

"Do you.. still have feelings for me.. ?"

"Yes.."

"So.. do you want to.. ?"

"No. not now.. we have too much problems.. even if we patch, we won't have happiness, you understand..? Lets wait till you cool down, and decide what you really want.."

"Will you wait for me?"

"If you want me to stay, I'll never leave..(sounds familiar right yan?)"

Kenneth and gang have persuaded me not to patch with her. But It not because of them that I chose not to, but its because I think its better this way, and that she will and would be happier

Okay.. enough sad talks, went to town with Yee Seng, Kenneth and Leon. Played abit of pool while waiting for Leon to come. Following that, we had dinner at Food Republic. Yee Seng and I didn't eat cus we no money, Leon ordered duck rice which cost a freaking $5.80. Total rip-off. Kenneth ate Hokkien Mee, no wonder he got the Hokkien Face. LOL..

We caught "Dragon-Tiger Gate" at around 730, the show ended at around 9. I think its damn nice, nice fighting scenes, cool moves, handsome leads(Yee Seng, being brokeback, was having a helluva time, I think he wet himself) and also some humour in it. All in all, I rate the movie 4 out of 5 star, a must watch movie.

On the way home, I received a sms from Her saying "You wanna catch a movie on Thursday.. ?"

And I replied "Sure.."

I wonder how its gonna turn out. Wish me luck, or maybe not, or maybe half la~