The one about Crappy Jobs and Stupid Games

It was Yee Seng's birthday yesterday, but he sacrificed it for a crappy job..

It all started 2 days ago, when I came across an article on the Strait Times on a company recruiting 25 "fun-loving" people for a job that involves conning people of their hard-earned money selling "donation tickets" to people.

Of course I rang the company up. I love fun. But usually, it involves being around girls. :D

So, poor Leon, Yee Seng and I went down to bugis 2 days ago for the so-called "interview". It was a pretty tense moment inside the interview room, until the boss asked Yee Seng: "So, how much are you expecting for your salary?"

Yee Seng, who has no working experience, apart from helping his mom out at a souvenir shop at Sentosa was shocked and muttered, "erm.. around $700-$800 dollars.."

Then, the King of Con, I mean the Boss said "That is... BULLSHIT!"

Made Leon and I laughed our ass off. The way he said "Bullshit" was damn funny. It sounded like "Pu-Shit!" Bey Tahan ah!

Then, he went on about the "career prospect", working hours and the pay, which he said "Don't worry, you can hit $1k EASILY.

That is PU-SHIT!

Then he went on to the next question: "Now, give me one good reason why I should hire you." And Yee Seng gave the corniest answer I've ever heard.

"I have no experience, but I am willing to work hard."

WAHAHAHAHA!!! WTF?! Isn't that the corniest line you've ever heard?

"I have no experience, but I am willing to work hard!"

He(The king of con) told us that work commences the next day, on Yee Seng's birthday and so we have to come down to start our training.

So, like little idiots ("little" referring to Yee Seng and I. Leon old liao, so he is Big idiot), we went down the following day and we're introduced to various con-men who worked there. It turns out that company is selling "Donation Tickets" to help the Elderly, homeless kids and ex-convicts.

"100% of the proceeds will go to charity." he (the King of con) said.

"Pu-shit!" I thought.

I have had experience with this kind of job. The company draws a certain percentage of the total proceeds and pocket them, while little suckers like Yee Seng and I, Big for Leon actually also draw a small percentage of the money for our salary, food and transport.

So, if you work your mathematics, the actual proceeds that reach the hands of the needy is very pathetic.

So, we spend the whole morning, trying to stop people and sell them the $10 donation tickets.

It was hardwork, mind you. Throughout the whole morning, the only thing I've said was "Zhe wei piao liang de xiao jie, wo bu shi mai dong xi de. Ke yi gei wo 30 miao de shi jian ma? Bang bang mang laa.." loosy translated as "Hey pretty babe, I'm not trying to sell you anything, can you spare me 30 seconds, please help help laa.."

It's a lie + con job. First, I have to call women who has belly bigger than mine as "Zhe wei piao liang de Xiao Jie", and I try to actually try to con them of their oily money. Ta ma de!

Leon couldn't take it, and call me at around 12 to tell me he quit. That sneaky commando told his leader that he has food poisoning and has to go home. So I went up to my leader and told him I wasn't cut out for the job, hence I quit.

Yee Seng did the same. And so we met up at National Library before heading down to Macdonald where we had our meals, played abut of pool and talked alot of cock at Yoshinoya, when I suddenly asked Yee Seng "So, give me 1 good reason why I should hire you.", while Leon asked "So, how much salary are you expecting?" Damn funny I tell you.

So, crap day, crap birthday, poor Yee Seng. But not bad la, at least Sin yee sang him a birthday song :D

Thats about it. Im going out now. My ITE mates are gonna celebrate MY BIRTHDAY in advance. Woo!